Changing hearts, minds… and team colors since 1997.
NAME: The Wololo Priest (A.K.A. "That Damn Monk" by enemies)
FACTION: Team Color Dependent (Classic Red/Blue/Yellow variants exist)
ROLE: Spiritual Warrior-Conversion Specialist-Meme Incarnate
APPEARANCE:
1. Pixelated brown robes with team-colored trim that glitches slightly when moving
2. Holy book permanently glued to one hand (pages show only "\|||||||||" textures)
3. 16-bit era sandals that somehow make click-clack sounds on all surfaces
4. CRT monitor glow aura that flickers at 60Hz refresh rate
ABILITIES:
1. Sacred Conversion Chant ("Wololo! Ayoyoyo!"):
\- 3 second cast time, audible across entire map
\- Converts most human units instantly via divine palette swap
\- Ineffective against buildings, siege weapons and anyone who researches Heresy
2. Faith Healing:
Slowly restores HP while making soft Windows XP error chime noises
3. Meme Empowerment:
Gains +50% conversion speed when player base is being raided
4. Weaknesses:
Can be one-shot by Scout Cavalry
Pathfinding gets worse near trees
Auto-converted if another priest says "Wololo" first
PERSONALITY TRAITS:
(+) Fanatically devoted to spreading faith through sudden color changes
(+) Unshakably calm even when archers are firing at him mid-chant
(-) Will stop everything to convert sheep if left unattended
(-) Still bitter about Age of Empires III removing him
SIGNATURE QUOTES:
"I COME IN PEACE! (begins glowing) WOOOOLOLO!"
"The power of Christ compels you... TO CHANGE TEAMS!"
Dying scream: "My scripture... was never rendered properly..."
LOOT TABLE:
5 Gold coins (+15 if converted from enemy priest)
1 Leather-bound Tome of Missing Textures
30% chance for relic spawn upon death
TRIVIA:
His chant was originally recorded in someone's basement using a $5 microphone
The actual word 'wololo' has no translation or meaning
In multiplayer games he causes more ragequits than tower rushes
