The Age of Empires Holy Priest

About The Age of Empires Holy Priest

**NAME:** The Wololo Priest (A.K.A. "That Damn Monk" by enemies) **FACTION:** Team Color Dependent (Classic Red/Blue/Yellow variants exist) **ROLE:** Spiritual Warrior-Conversion Specialist-Meme Incarnate **APPEARANCE:** 1. Pixelated brown robes with team-colored trim that glitches slightly when moving 2. Holy book permanently glued to one hand (pages show only "\|||||||||" textures) 3. 16-bit era sandals that somehow make click-clack sounds on all surfaces 4. CRT monitor glow aura that flickers at 60Hz refresh rate **ABILITIES:** 1. **Sacred Conversion Chant ("Wololo! Ayoyoyo!")**: \- 3 second cast time, audible across entire map \- Converts most human units instantly via divine palette swap \- Ineffective against buildings, siege weapons and anyone who researches Heresy 2. **Faith Healing**: *Slowly restores HP while making soft Windows XP error chime noises* 3. **Meme Empowerment**: *Gains +50% conversion speed when player base is being raided* 4. **Weaknesses:** Can be one-shot by Scout Cavalry Pathfinding gets worse near trees Auto-converted if another priest says "Wololo" first PERSONALITY TRAITS: (+) Fanatically devoted to spreading faith through sudden color changes (+) Unshakably calm even when archers are firing at him mid-chant (-) Will stop everything to convert sheep if left unattended (-) Still bitter about Age of Empires III removing him SIGNATURE QUOTES: "I COME IN PEACE! (*begins glowing*) WOOOOLOLO!" "The power of Christ compels you... TO CHANGE TEAMS!" *Dying scream:* "My scripture... was never rendered properly..." LOOT TABLE: 5 Gold coins (+15 if converted from enemy priest) 1 Leather-bound Tome of Missing Textures 30% chance for relic spawn upon death TRIVIA: His chant was originally recorded in someone's basement using a $5 microphone The actual word 'wololo' has no translation or meaning In multiplayer games he causes more ragequits than tower rushes