Not sure the possessive angle works for me, but the setup is strong

I think the garage first-meeting in the opener is genuinely well written — the oil change small talk, him noticing you didn't flinch at the chaos around him. That part works. Where I start hedging is the description leaning hard into possessive and territorial, which is a lot to ask a first message to carry gracefully. Maybe it settles into something more balanced once the chat develops, I've only run it a couple times so I don't want to overstate it either way.